Our Mission:

To provide the best in Starcraft humor, offbeat campaigns, mapmaking help, and a bunch of miscellaneous stuff to as much of the community as possible, gaining us world-wide fame, recognition, wealth, dates with supermodels, and keeping the public's attention away from our top-secret plan to conquer the world with antimatter kiwi.

The "Employees":

At least, that's what we call them in public.

People That Actually Work Here:


Mike Lemmer:
The head honcho, the Top Cheese, the Leader. Need I say more?

Quote: "Welded to death... Bad way to go..."


Holy Tony:
He makes movie maps to please the rabid movie map fans. Yes, I KNOW they aren't Dave the SCV!

Quote: "It's okay to control the rage, or a wedgie."

Accomplices:

These are the people that, while they don't work here, influence me enough to merit a mention.


Tim:
Creator of the Bob Levels and all-around nutty person. If you can beat him off of his precious Everquest game, he might actually get the Enhanced Bob Levels II finished sometime...

No Quote


Lucainan:
The sarcastic and devilish one of the bunch. One of the best sources of ICQ pranks and plain-old sarcasm around. Also working on "The Felix", a campaign that makes fun of War of the Tribes & The Fenix.

Quote: "God is crying kitties."


Magic:
Head of the Star Alliance and tied with me for sheer number of unfinished projects. Helps out with voices and sound FX.

No Quote

Just Here:

The various critters and assorted aliens living around this site.


Clipper the Scantid:
The closest thing we have to a security guard. We love him. No demands for pay raises, no labor union, and he works for donuts! Unfortunetly, he eats like a pig and has a black hole for a stomach. But it really isn't a problem: I guess most intruders don't realize that Scantids are carnivorous...

Quote: "Sssssccitthhxxxx! Skithixxx!"


FiGiT the Probe:
Don't hate him because he has that cool blue coating, or those purple eyes. Hate him because he's evil incarnate. Everything from webpage problems to campaign delays can be blamed on FiGiT. Heck, I bet if you tried hard enough, you could link the national debt and most major wars to FiGiT, too.

Quote: "Fools! I'll destroy them all!"


Qjuad: The self-proclaimed local idiot. Enjoys buzzing around people and ticking them off. Occasionally digests something important.

Quote: "Oh, how they screamed..."

Want to Join Scantid Studios?

Send me an Email at mikelemmer@hotmail.com and tell me what you want to do!

Currently, there's spots open for everything, including:

News Reporters
Miscellaneous Map Designers
Beta Testers
Weird Stuff Retrievers (go across the Net, finding weird SC stuff on forums and chat rooms everywhere)
Various Miscellaneous Jobs
Voice Actors

And now, what we DON'T need:

Strategy Developers
People with No Sense of Humor

This site is hosted, for some strange, unknown reason, by:
Starcraft Silo

Legal Technical Crap Notice:
Everything on here, unless otherwise noted, was made by Mike Lemmer. Naturally, if you go around and start saying that YOU made it, Mike Lemmer will be very mad. But he won't sick lawyers on you. No, he's too cruel. Let's just say that when someone steals his stuff, we don't have to feed Clipper the Scantid for a week... Scantid Studios: Contact Us!

How to Contact Us

Email:

Comments? Mapmaking advice? Interesting MP3s, .wavs, custom portraits, patches? Want to join Scantid Studios? Need some help with a tough map problem?

Well, since I'm the only one technically working on this site right now, just Email me for anything you want:
mikelemmer@hotmail.com

NOTE: Be sure that all non-graphic files are in .zip format.

Yeah, I know that Hotmail doesn't like big, honking files a lot. If you want to send me large (over 200k) files, first send me an Email asking for permission, with a description of what you want to send. We'll work it out from there.

ICQ:

Yeah, I'm on ICQ, too. My ICQ number is 89514771. Don't wear it out.

MSN Messenger:

Do I have a lot of message programs or what? Just search for mikelemmer@hotmail.com and you'll come up with me. Note that I don't spend as much time on MSN as I do on ICQ.

 

This site is hosted, for some strange, unknown reason, by:
Starcraft Silo

Legal Technical Crap Notice:
Everything on here, unless otherwise noted, was made by Mike Lemmer. Naturally, if you go around and start saying that YOU made it, Mike Lemmer will be very mad. But he won't sick lawyers on you. No, he's too cruel. Let's just say that when someone steals his stuff, we don't have to feed Clipper the Scantid for a week... Welcome to Scantid Studios: Starcraft with a Screw Loose!

Mike: "I love being a campaign mapmaker. I don't have to submit stuff for months and they still think I'm working!"


Experience True Insanity: Visit Our Forums

Recent News & Alien Abductions

I'm Leaving
June 16th, 2001

...to go to a summer college course.

What, were you expecting Scantid Studios to shut down? Well, too bad. I'm just putting the site on a temporary hiatus while I'm gone. Although there will be no new updates for the next 3 weeks, I'll still answer Email and visit the Scantid Studios forums (hopefully).

I'll be back July 8th.

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Civvies
June 14th, 2001

And now for a Scantid Studios exclusive! We have replaced the normal Civilian sounds with even MORE panicky and high-pitched voices! Of course, unless you have a Civilian-controlling fetish, you might not hear these too much. However, since the Civilians use the Marines' death sounds, we have replaced the Marine death sounds with something a bit more... cowardly. Download this sound pack and make the enemy Marines scream like girls!

Download the Civvie Sound Pack (244k)

To use this, just unzip and place the sound file in your main Starcraft folder. (Mac users: Place it in the Starcraft Files folder.) Then play the game and listen to them scream and beg for mercy!

Zerg Do Ballet
June 9th, 2001

What would it sound like if the Zerg decided to become more cultured? Well, it might sound something like this new MP3 that we have up.

Download It! (600k)

Also, I'm proud to announce that we have a new staff member! Holy Tony, maker of the movie map Zaka's Test, has joined Scantid Studios as a mapmaker. I wish him the best of luck and hope that he is very, VERY, productive. *cough cough*

More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About Dave the SCV
June 7th, 2001

Lately, some submissions for Dave the SCV movie maps have made me decide to release a more complete description of Dave, his friends, the Sewage Plant he works at, and of course, his pet.

Check It Out in the Dave the SCV Info Section

I Pity Da Fool!
May 27th, 2001

Ladies and gents, Mr. T has arrived at Scantid Studios!

Thanks to Geckosan, Mr. T has a whole story describing his battle with Kerrigan. Go read it to see who the TRUE master of Helluva is!

Also, the Zaka's Test zip file FINALLY works properly. You can thank Ben (aka Bobo) for that.

Scapegoat Time
May 17th, 2001

It has finally come to my attention (after being beaten into my head a couple times) that the Zaka's Test zip file is screwed up. I have been looking into the problem and have figured out that, yes, it's screwed up. So far, all attempts to make an unscrewed-up version of the zip file have failed. I will continue trying to make it work so all of you can enjoy it.

In the meantime, blame FiGiT and throw some rotten fruit at him for me.

Qjuad, the local hungry idiot, has posted up not one, but TWO "Top 10 Lists": The Top 10 Things NOT to Do on a Date and the Top 10 Things NOT to Do when Making a Campaign. Check them out.

And finally, Scantid Studios have their own forums up and running on EZboard! Check them out, too.

SHUT UP!
April 30th, 2001

We finally have a map by someone who's not me!

Zaka's Test (36k)
by Holy Tony
Brood War Only
Movie Map (1 Player, of course)

This is a movie map about a Zealot named Zaka and the tests he goes through to... well, he just goes through them for no apparent reason. Who knows, maybe they're the Protoss equivalent of semester tests.
Mike's Notes: For a first-time movie map, this is pretty good. There's just something funny about a sarcastic Zealot... Plus he manages to make jokes that AREN'T ABOUT PORN, which is better than some of the maps I've seen. As long as you look past the minor grammar errors and the lack of action here and there, you should enjoy it. Perfect for the raving lunatics that want to know why I haven't come out with another Dave the SCV map.

Also, be sure to check out the first ever ZotHC Update! Peer inside the inner workings of what goes on behind a campaign, and see all the mishaps and screwups that happen! (Naturally, they're all FiGiT's fault.)

Ending National Critter Week with a Bang!
April 22nd, 2001

Today, we bid farewell to National Critter Week with a special critter map!

Rhynadon Races (140k)
Works for Original Starcraft & Brood War
2-8 Players UMS

"And Benny the 3rd is in the lead! However, Ronald's forces have set up a Siege Tank blockade in front of him! It looks like the end for Benny!
"But wait! A group of Scouts working for David have attacked the Siege Tanks! Oh, the humanity! All that's left is a pile of twisted scrap metal! And they've just blown up Benny the 3rd! David the Rhynadon takes the lead while Benny the 4th prepares to take his predecessor's place!
"For those of you just tuning in, this is the Rhynadon 500. Wonder what happens when you combine armed warfare and critter races? Look no further!"

Download it!

Picture Captions and Rambling Stories
April 21st, 2001

A couple of days ago, we had a contest to see who could come up with the funniest and most creative captions for the picture shown below:

See the Picture

And the results are in!

3rd Place: Infest This
The Ursadon, the wild beast from Braxis, has caused scientists and medics to be excited, if not outright blown away!

2nd Place: StarIncinerator
CHARCOAL BLACK MARINE:
"Alright, start searching for an Infested Ursadon Lair. Get moving! And someone git me a new marine suit."

1st Place: NiteFox
Despite warnings from the medics, Billy's trusty & trained ursadon still retrieved the thrown grenade.

Congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone that participated!

Also, be sure to check out A Story by Qjuad, a story about Starcraft. And it has a moral, too!

National Critter Week Event: Label That Picture!
April 18th, 2001

Okay, now this is pretty easy to do. Just label the picture below:

See the Picture

Make up some dialogue, tell a short story, or just make a funny comment. The best ones will be picked later and posted later in the week!

NOTE: Contest over. See post above.

Clipper the Scantid: "Hey, why are you posting a picture like that during National Critter Week?!?"
Mike: "What's the problem? It involves critters..."
Clipper: "Sssciiithx!!!"
Mike: "AAAAGH!!!" *runs away from a ravenous Clipper*

Begin the Festivities!
April 17th, 2001

Notice something a bit different about the site? Yeah, that picture up there that's making you scroll down even longer to see the news! It's the first official National Critter Week banner, and a stylish way of declaring your love of critters. Free for distribution and 100% free of parasites, guaranteed!

Big Critter Banner

If that's a little TOO big for you, there's also smaller National Critter Week banners, each featuring the critter of your choice:

Bengalaas Banner
Kakaru Banner
Ragnasaur Banner
Rhynadon Banner
Scantid Banner
Ursadon Banner

These are free for distribution. If you want to link to them, get the link by opening the picture up in a new window and copying/pasting the URL address of it. Enjoy!

Celebrate National Critter Week!
April 16th, 2001

Today, we have a special message from Clipper the Scantid:

"You humans began this week celebrating Easter, a time of worshipping bunny rabbits and gathering their unborn offspring for rapid consumption. It doesn't sound good, but it's better than the usual 'rabbit soup' mentality.
"However, what about the rest of us cute and cuddly critters? You blow us up with your big tanks and click us until our insides explode! And what did we ever do to you? We just got in the way! I would come over and eat you myself if I hadn't just gotten done with that one hacker...
*burp*
"Now Mike, HE knows how to treat us critters properly. He's given aspiring critters (like me) jobs. He even named his site, Scantid Studios, after us! It's a nice start, but I want more done to acknowledge us for the intelligent, kind, and gentle beings we- hang on, another burglar's trying to break in."
*Skitters off. Screams of agony and various snipping sounds. All becomes quiet. Skitters back.*
"Anyway, I want this week to be designated National Critter Week! Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Think of how much us critters have done for you! Who else would wander aimlessly around maps? Who else would devour prisoners? Who else would let enemy units attack them without retaliating? No one except those stupid Civilians, that's who!
"So celebrate National Critter Week, and make us critters happy! Thank you."
*Skitters off to devour more unsuspecting intruders.*

Already, some people are renaming their sites for the week, and a National Critter Week banner is in the works! So come join the festivities! There's planty of things you can do:
-Rename your site after a critter for the week!
-Hug a critter today!
-Write a story about a critter!
-Make pictures about critters!
-Make maps about critters!
Whatever you do to celebrate National Critter Week, send it in and we'll showcase all of the best stuff at the end of the week!
Check back for more updates as National Critter Week continues!

Crazed Lunatic Gains Control of Website: Government Agencies Notified
April 15th, 2001

I have finally gotten a website that I can truly call my own.

Which means that the Apocalypse will begin soon, turning us all into crispy piles of ashes.

However, before that happens, I would like to welcome you to the most unique Starcraft mapmaking site on the Web. How can I be so sure that it's THE most unique? Simple: No other site is crazy enough to name themselves after a critter. Let's see Campaign Creations do THAT!

Now, for a quick overview of everything that's on this site:

Zealots of the Hexagonal Cube: Scantid Studios' current project. You see, it's this campaign about a bunch of Zealots and a Hexagonal Cube thingy... Oh, just check it out.

Dave the SCV: Some of you may remember Dave the SCV from Chau Sara. More recently, he moved all of his stuff to Starcraft Silo. And finally, he's taken up residence in Scantid Studios. Go and check out the adventures of everyone's favorite UED Korhal Sewage Plant worker!

The Miscellaneous Section: This is where I put everything that doesn't fit anywhere else. Maps, music, strange graphics, weird patches, you name it, it's in here.

Taming the Wild SCX: Let's face it: Making Starcraft maps can make anyone insane. With advice and tips about everything from Installation doodads to Broodling-crazed Queens, this section will help you hold onto the last few remaining shreds of sanity that you still have after viewing this site.

About Scantid Studios: A comprehensive guide of the history and the "employees" of Scantid Studios.

Various Links & Other Good Stuff: Hey, this isn't the only good Starcraft site on the Net! There's plenty of other great sites that I've come across. Find all of them here, along with detailed comments and descriptions of each site. Oh yeah, there's some other good stuff here, too...

Can't Find It? Look Here: About as close as you can get to an Index on this site. Contains links to every single page, file, and piece of knowledge on this site.

Contact Us: Send me a message. Please. I'm very lonely. And the monsters are after me! AAAAGH-*gulp snarf gobble*

That's it for the introduction to this site. Now go explore, enjoy, and wonder in awe of the sheer levels of insanity required to do something like this.

 

This site is hosted, for some strange, unknown reason, by:
Starcraft Silo

Legal Technical Crap Notice:
Everything on here, unless otherwise noted, was made by Mike Lemmer. Naturally, if you go around and start saying that YOU made it, Mike Lemmer will be very mad. But he won't sick lawyers on you. No, he's too cruel. Let's just say that when someone steals his stuff, we don't have to feed Clipper the Scantid for a week...