http://magnum54.homestead.com/files/partyelephant.jpg
Age: 19
Occupation: College Student
Whereabouts: Nowhere, Illinois (roughly around the middle)
The 2004 Antioch Cast Picture Page
Max Payne 2 Review
Halloween sucks, unless you're a pagan, wiccan, or eight-year-old. It just gets more campy every year. In my hometown, for instance, they changed the trick-or-treating hours from Halloween night to 1-4 PM Sunday. Yes, you read that right. Not only do the kids get to trick-or-treat on the Christian Sabbath, they get to do it in broad daylight with plenty of adult supervision.
Now, I know there are horrific cases of child abduction, and I'm all for adult supervision. But something about making kids run around on a Sunday afternoon scaring the elderly and demanding candy seems, well... evil.
I saw the first Christmas tree truck, too, though I've been told they've appeared as early as Labor Day.
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I guess I should save October's mindless ramblings in Word format and upload them to the site, but then, what's the point? Are these ever going to appear in the Smithsonian Archives next to the Federalist Papers? Are Yale political scientists ever going to cross-reference my musings on Israeli pig batallions in their doctoral theses?
Beethoven was a playa. Was there ever any doubt?
Whoa. Those Israelis are smart.
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My Max Payne 2 Review is up. Why should you read it? Because you need my opinion on whether to buy the game. Not that the review includes that information, which it doesn't, but does that necessarily preclude you from reading the article?
For the answer to this and many other questions, I refer you to Phigment. He's written a fantastic op ed in this week's Wall Street Journal about the exploitation of marsupials in the production of footwear.
But read my article first.
After a slight mishap involving me failing to pay the rent, I'm back in action for all your text-reading needs.
It's been a slow news month. More violence in Baghdad, the Marlins win the World Series, another alligator found in a place it shouldn't be. That's all old news.
The top story is Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's decision to head to the Middle East (with Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman in tow) to attempt to bring peace to the region. Now, over the past fifty years, hundreds of top minds in the fields of conflict resolution, diplomacy, and political science have spent thousands of mind-hours wrangling with complex negotiations and difficult opposing party hardliners in an attempt to bring two civilizations founded on the principles of hating each other into agreement. From Henry Kissinger, the greatest diplomatic mind of the century (if not the millenium) to President Jimmy Carter to United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan; all have tried to bring some form of lasting peace to the table, and all have failed.
But where the philosophers, PhDs and Nobel laureates have failed, Brad Pitt, Rachel from "Friends," Deputy Honey from Canadian Bacon and the Penguin will succeed.
You know, it's really not a bad team. DeVito's a small guy, probably can dodge enemy fire fairly easily. Brad Pitt's had success as an action hero, although mostly as a vampire, a cartoon pirate, and a figment of Ed Norton's imagination. Rachel from "Friends" is pretty hot, which can subdue a sex-starved terrorist force, while Rhea Perlman is, uh... who's Rhea Perlman again? Oh yeah. The deputy from Canadian Bacon. If I remember the film, she handled heavy weaponry pretty well, which may in fact be contrary to their purpose over there. Maybe she can infiltrate a Hamas training cell and disguise herself as a man. Shouldn't be too much of a stretch.
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Weren't the above paragraphs a total waste of your time? I thought so. I regretted writing it about halfway through. I'll have more insight as SOMETHING FREAKING HAPPENS IN THE WORLD.
Also, this college blows.
http://www.antiochforever.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=38070#38070
Phoenix makes me sharpen my pencil. Shade makes me wish my head were small enough to fit in the sharpener.
Man, I can't wait to go home. This college blows.
This will be the prevailing theme of the next five weeks' worth of posts.
http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20031021/i/r3989469538.jpg
So Rummy's pissed about the leak. Who wouldn't be, in his shoes? I mean, you send an inter-office memo with Willie the Mailboy oneday, thinking it will arrive safely at its Quantico destination, and it ends up as chum for the next media feeding frenzy. I'd call for the headof Willie the Mailboy.
And it's not like the memo was all that damning. It was just asking how the DoD could improve things, like those stupid monthly performancereviews I used to get at my various crappy high school jobs. At least Willie gets to run around Washington, ferrying the SECURITY OF THE FREEWORLD from honcho to honcho, while I'm stuck here making sandwiches for six bucks an hour. One day my ship will come in, and when it does,it better be a freakin' aircraft carrier.
I mean, does that face look like something you'd want to screw with? Look at him. That guy's one blown gasket away from a Three Mile Island.
I'm glad he's on our side.
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I just typed up some impressions on Max Payne 2, but Mozilla deleted them when I tabbed back after previewing.
That's it. I've had it with computers. I've never trusted this devilry. Back to typewriters and correction fluid for me.
Seriously, I can't wait to get out of here.
Yeah, so I'm doing another cast picture. So sue me. I have excellent lawyers.
Sounds like me. I'm really getting a giant chip on my shoulder. Must come from total loss of contact from family and friends for atwo-year stretch. Good thing I'm transferring out of this ladybug-infested hellhole.
I've always been a little judicious (trying to skip around the term "judgmental"), so I guess I'm not totally plunging off the deep end.
Besides, if I can't be as cool as Rumsfeld, what's the point?
Sweet merciful crap on a chicken biscuit. Does that first cast picture look like a 17 year old drew it? Possibly, if it was with that17-year-old's feet and box of Crayolas. Not to diminish from disabled people who draw with their feet, mind you, I'm talking like,if my feet themselves were paralyzed, and I was using them to draw. I mean, really. Here follows some basic criticism.
1. What was I using to outline, a chunk of obsidian?
2. That paper has aged well, hasn't it?. Actually, I think it was that shade of puke beige to begin with. The crease down the middle accentuatesthe whole composition nicely.
3. Did I have any concept of anatomy whatsoever? Check out Codebreaker, or that guy with the huge freakin' sword in the middle. Somewhere,somehow, Da Vinci weeps.
4. I've seen my six-year-old cousin make more complex color compositions with ketchup and a plate of spaghetti.
5. I obviously had no sense of gravity, or weight. Either that or Flare (lower left hand corner) should enter his wrists in the Mr. Olympia competition.
6. Highlighting key areas with a 256-color palette in MSPaint really helped give it that air of class.
7. I like how I turned out. Kinda like Butch Patrick grows up and joins the Gay Air Force.
You have to admit, though, Thrillias looks like a Rastafarian Badass HIgh Templar Extraordinaire. Maybe he and Commandante Styles are about tofire up a doobie in the back of the Thanatos once I'm done sketching their portraits.
I guess the shining moment of the first cast picture (other than that it only took me a week, as compared to eight months for #2) is Qjuad's diminuitiveness.I had just arrived as a regular at the forum and didn't know that Qjuad was, in fact, the size of a small planet, or a large moon. The fact that Lucainan lookslike he just crossed the Rio Grande at night being chased by border patrol officers in full space battle gear just makes it all the more amusing.
Will there be another one? I've been tossing around the idea, but I'd have to make sure it didn't interfere with my schedule. Projects, especially big ones,have a nasty way of shifting themselves onto my front burners when they should be a fun weekend occupation. I certainly could use the drawing practice,and I could stand to get out of my room and do a little artwork around campus, but I'd need to make sure it's feasible.
Like anyone studies in college, anyway.
Edited Friday, October 31st, 2003 at 10:52 AM by Magnum.
